


Holidays are meant for loved ones

by Littlenerdyemo



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, M/M, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), culturally jewish?, not religious though, well kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21731257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlenerdyemo/pseuds/Littlenerdyemo
Summary: "Even through all this, even after he and Amanda moved out, (and Todd moved out again, to a house that didn’t belong to a university he no longer went to; and then again, somewhere closer to amanda), Todd used to bring her donuts on Hanukah. The American type, with chocolate coating and sprinkles and none of that strawberry filling that ended up tasting more like very warm jello and powered sugar that always wound up inexplicably wet. They would turn on a plastic candle and turn off the lights and pretend that this was normal and proper, and in a way it was; it was their normal."Holiday traditions with the Brotzman siblings, a meddling Dirk, and a healthy overuse of the words "guilt-trippy holiday thing", not necessarily in that order.
Relationships: Amanda Brotzman & Todd Brotzman, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Holidays are meant for loved ones

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, the characters or the settings do not belong to me, but to Netflix.

They haven’t had a proper Hanukah celebration in a while.

Not since Amanda had gotten an episode from just standing close to the menorah, flailing around and overturning the damned thing, burning a hole clean through their parents’ nicest map. Because of course that had to be the one time they didn’t light it on the kitchen counter like always.

She never touched candles again, after that. Not when they went to Sabbath dinners at their grandparent's house, or on her birthday, or when the electricity went out.

Not on Hanukah.

They still had donuts, and sang the songs, and aunt Ester always gave them money, (which they sneakily had to return to her, because she was poor and didn't work). But something changed that day. Something ended.

Todd was always on rather lackluster terms with the big guy in the sky. It didn’t help that he liked bacon very much or that he lisped half his Bar Mitzvah verses, nor the fact that he always hurriedly added " _culturally_ " before the J. And it didn't help that his sister was now terrified of fire because of some stupid fucking holiday tradition that didn't fucking mean anything.

Even through all this, even after he and Amanda moved out, (and Todd moved out again, to a house that didn’t belong to a university he no longer went to; and then again, somewhere closer to amanda), Todd used to bring her donuts on Hanukah. The American type, with chocolate coating and sprinkles and none of that strawberry filling that ended up tasting more like very warm jello and powered sugar that always wound up inexplicably wet. They would turn on a plastic candle and turn off the lights and pretend that this was normal and proper, and in a way it was; it was _their_ normal.

Hanukah was certainly a lot more festive without his sister sobbing in a corner, clutching at her entirely healthy hand.

This would be the first Hanukah he spends without Amanda. She doesn’t have a permanent address, and really, neither does he; he’s so behind on rent it’s a wonder he can even think about buying an entire box of donuts. Maxing out your credit card to go search for your friend across America does that to your credibility.

And anyway, even if she did, she wouldn’t invite him. And who could blame her, really.

Still, Todd goes out and gets donuts with chocolate on top and one with jam - because he might as well be traditional, for once, even if it will most likely remain uneaten - and finds that old green candle that went out of batteries last year but now is too late to go and replace.

He sets them onto his counter and sings to himself and grabs a donut. He tries to turn the candle on but the battery doesn't magically spring to life, so he sets it on his windowsill as is, battered and coated in chocolate and really quite miserable all around.

It strikes Todd that he, too, is quite miserable all around. He sets down the donut and takes out his phone. Then he sets it down too.

Then he stares, willing it to ring, even though it’s already 23rd of December and Hanukah has already started and if Amanda wanted to celebrate it with him she probably would have called, by now.

There’s a knock on his door, and Todd is momentarily hopeful before he remembers that he promised to help Dirk with his Christmas lights.

“Is that a Menorah?” Asks Dirk, eyeing the poor excuse of a candle. “I always thought it would be bigger. And like, on fire. Big time fire-y… stuff.”

“No, that’s just a candle”, says Todd, feeling sadder and lamer by the second. “Yes, they’re supposed to be on fire. No, this one’s not.”

“why isn’t it?” Dirk asks curiously.

“Amanda isn’t great with fire”, says Todd. “It’s - y'know. It’s a trigger.”

“And you?” Dirk asks. “Oh - sorry, I didn’t - you don’t have to answer that.”

“It’s okay”, says Todd. “I haven’t thought about it, honestly. It was always more… More Amanda’s thing.”

“Is she here?” _Which, ouch._

“No.”

“Oh… OH!” says Dirk, and then again, softer, “oh.”

“Yeah”, says Todd. “So anyway, about those Christmas lights…”

“No, you are NOT going to divert this conversation. We are so going to do that while Chan-oka thing. And we’re calling Amanda. And she’ll come over. She has to.”

“It’s _Hanukah_ ”, says Todd, and Dirk smiles at him.

“So we’re calling Amanda?”

The bastard.

“We’re not calling Amanda. This is in no way a ‘we’ situation.”

“Yes it is - I said we were going to do the whole Hanukah thing, remember? And as far as I know, that entails loved ones being present. And Amanda is a loved one. So.”

“Dirk, no.”

Dirk opens his phone, in what could only be described as the gesture equivalent of “Dirk, _yes_.”

“I said, Dirk, NO.”

“Hey Dirk”, says Amanda. Dirk had apparently _not_ gotten over his notion that video calls were the greatest invention since cereal. (Which lead to some quite unfortunate moments, like the day Dirk decided to make wake up calls a thing. Todd has never manged to sleep peacefully since. Nor shirtless.)

“Hello traitor”, she notices Todd, and then the donuts. “Is this some guilt-trippy holiday thing?”

Amanda never answered Todd’s calls that fast. In fact, she rarely ever answered them.

“No”, says Dirk, at the same time as Todd lets out a dejected “yes.”

“you are blowing our cover”, whispers Dirk, who is closer to the phone anyway, so there isn’t really much point. But with Dirk, is there ever?

“we wouldn’t _need_ a cover if you could just do what I asked you to. Which was to not. Do. _This_.”

“Is that my candle?” Says Amanda, seemingly oblivious to the argument going on on the other side of the line. “Are those donuts?”

Before Todd can reply to any of the questions, she adds, “we’ll be there in five. Congrats. Your evil plan worked. Here’s a holiday guilt trippy truce.”

Dirk is beaming at him in what Todd chooses to interpret as his “I’m so happy all these shitty things you did cancelled each other out”, and not his “I told you so” face.

“ _I want a donut!_ ” Todd can hear shuffling in the back. “ _Can I light the cat on fire?_ ”

“Oh, and Todd?”

“Yeah?”

“I want my fucking candle back.”

**Author's Note:**

> The brotzmans are jewish, and i will fight you on this.  
> Jk. Happy holidays, everyone!


End file.
